I Should Know By Now

I have learned three lessons that I hope stick with me for a while.

1. Never leave an opened box of cereal on the counter when leaving the room to do laundry. Little boys know.

2. The sound of a box of Cheerios being upended on the carpet is unmistakable even from the next room.

3. Cheerios will clog up the vacuum hose if you try to suck up too many at one time requiring the use of a chopstick to poke them on through.

After lesson 2, I walked into the family room to find Winter3 (of course) and Fall21months happily munching on the cereal. When I got out the vacuum, both little boys looked at me, threw themselves on the cereal and started eating as quickly as possible--their little fists bulging with Cheerios. (I really do feed my sons. Promise.) Winter3 added an element of drama by crying out, "MY CHEEEEEERRRRRIOOOOOOS".

After lesson 3 and lots of muttering and aggravation on my part, my carpet was more or less clean again. Winter3 walked over to me, offered me a high five and said, "Good job Mommy!" Next time, I'll just put the box of cereal away.

A Piece-A Hair?

All four of my boys are very attached and devoted to me which I think is pretty typical for little boys (well, at least for boys with rockin' moms like me). Spring7 has always hated when I get hugs and kisses from other men, meaning males other than himself. Men like his father. When Spring7 was a toddler/preschooler and my husband (his name is Mike, by the way) sat next to me on the couch, Spring7 would yell, climb on my lap, suck his thumb and glare menacingly at his father as if to say, "You may have been here first but she's mine now, loser." Interestingly, he's a great big brother and is more than happy to share me with his little brothers. The two big boys do fight over me but I can live with that kind of attention. My joke is that someday when I'm old and frail, I'll hear the boys walking down the hall of my nursing home arguing over who gets to pull my plug.


Summer10 still likes to hang out with me and Fall21months wouldn't let me out of his sight until fairly recently but of course it's Winter3 who has the most unusual obsession. Freud would love this one...Winter3 loves my hair. Not just to pat and twist around a finger when he's upset but he soothes himself by holding a strand of my hair and sucking his thumb. A lovey, if you will. A little piece of me. Sometimes, maybe at naptime or bedtime, he'll ask very sweetly, "Mommy, a piece-a hair, please?" Okay, so maybe I'm feeding into this obsession but how can I say no to that? What I don't like is when he sneaks up behind me and yanks a piece-a hair on his own. Ouch! What embarrasses me is when I have to explain this whole hair thing in public. A close friend told Winter3, "Let me get that yucky piece of hair off you." I had to stop her, "Please don't take his hair! It's his piece-a hair!" Even worse, if he gets hurt or upset when we're out somewhere and starts wailing, "I NEED A PIECE-A HAAAAIIIIRRR!" People will say, "What does he need?" Being the mom I am, I pretend that I have no idea what Winter3 is talking about. "Hmm, I think he bumped his head. He's not making any sense." Then we retreat into a corner so I can run my hands through my hair and get a nice long strand.


Clearly, my apron strings are made of pieces-a hair. Maybe someday he'll marry a woman with hair like Crystal Gayle and then my job will be done. Until then, let's just hope I don't go bald.

Update on my "new car smell"

Thanks to a friend's handheld steam cleaner and a product called Urine Gone (their slogan "for pet and people accidents" I kid you not!) my car is (mostly) back to being a sweet smelling new car.

I Just Made You Say Underwear!

I have deemed July (insert booming voice) The Month of the Potty. Oh yeah, I'm sure you all want to come and visit me now! Winter3 is almost 3 1/2 and starting preschool in September. We're at the point where potty training isn't just a nifty idea...it's a must. I'll be honest and say that I haaaaaattttteeeee potty training. I know, who likes it? It's one of those tasks that didn't seem so horrible before we had kids. That was before we knew anything.

My job is complicated by two things...the fact that I have boys and the fact that my children are stubborn and hard headed. Many (not all) of the little girls I know are horrified at the thought of sitting in their own excrement. Boys, not so much. It's next to impossible to convince a little boy to leave his favorite car/truck/train/book/tv show for a trip to the bathroom. You can see the wheels turning...why on earth would I want to do that? I have a perfectly good diaper/pullup/pair of underwear for that. I don't think boys are ever truly convinced it's a necessary interruption. In fact, I'm willing to bet that many men I know hate the fact that they have pull themselves away from the tv to use the bathroom.

Porcelain god takes on a whole new meaning as a parent in the midst of potty training and I have done things I never imagined: cheered for dry underwear; cajoled and bribed for trips to the potty; cheered for pee in potty; tried to convince Winter3 that being a "big boy" is a good thing (he doesn't believe me); told all my friends about trips to the potty; danced a potty dance; told Winter3 all the people he knows who use the potty "Hey, did you know that Elmo uses the potty?/Let's go play with [insert name here]. I know he uses the potty. /Daddy's home! I bet he used the potty at work." The damn potty takes over life and it's exhausting.

During The Month of the Potty, Winter3 has been doing pretty well. When we're home, I keep him in thick cloth training pants. I've promised that as soon as he uses the potty all the time, he can start wearing his "fancy underwear" (or "under-whare" as he says). Fancy under-whare has fantastic designs like Wonder Pets, Bob the Builder, Mickey Mouse, Go Diego Go and Spiderman...basically everything I could find in an attempt to make Winter3 think the potty is cool. Until then, I'll put on my big girl underwear and my happy face and continue to cheer, cajole, bribe, and dance around my porcelain god.

Quotable Quotes

Things moms may or may not want to hear...

1. "I really have to pee but Summer10's in there so I'll just go outside" says Spring7. Um, no, we have THREE other bathrooms in our house.

2. "My mom is such a good cook that she forgets she's a good cook until she eats someone else's food" says Summer10 to a group of adult friends as we're serving ourselves at a potluck picnic.

3. "It will be fine. Each part is strong enough to hold an angry mob of ants" says Spring7 to me trying to prove that the sled he's building for Fall21months is strong enough. What's one toddler compared to an angry mob of ants? Apparently, there's no comparison because the sled fell apart. To Spring7's credit, he planned to pull Fall21months not the other way around.

4. "Have you heard the story about the five boys and one lonely girl?" asked Spring7 as a way of introducing himself to a neighbor. Neighbor thought he was about to hear a fable but Spring7 told him that was our family. Seriously, if there's one thing I'm not, it's lonely!

5. "Just wait a minute. I'll get a broom" says Winter3 to his baby brother. The two of them had been helping themselves to a snack and obviously made a mess. I guess the three year old wildman deserves some credit for intending to and knowing how to clean it up.

6. "Hey Steph, you have a big blob of mustard on your shirt" says the husband upon coming home at 6:30. Mustard had been there since lunch and I never noticed.

Prince of the Playground

When a three year old makes up his mind to wear a hat, there's no dissuading him. Last night, with one on a scooter, one on a bike and two in a stroller, all four boys and I headed to our neighborhood park. Winter3 decided that the beautiful summer evening called for a hat. You'd think he might get a little warm but he didn't seem to notice. Winter3 isn't a kid who does a few monkey bars and then swings either. He runs, jumps, climbs, leaps, crawls and scurries from one place to the next. I will admit that the hat made him much easier to find on the playground!

Usually, I make Winter3 stick with me and Fall21months but last night I let him run ahead to catch up to his brothers. While I pushed the stroller on the walking path, he ran across the field to the playground as fast as his little legs would go. Like a dog who is off a leash, he kept looking back at me as if he couldn't quite believe that I was letting him free.

With hat still on, he walked almost the entire way home. Make that ran. Only once we got home and sat down with a snack did he reveal the sweaty head that was under the hat. In true three year old fashion, I'm willing to bet you that once winter comes, he'll want nothing to do with a head covering of any kind!